If you've been following my blog for long, you've seen that the one theme that seems to under pin most of my blogs is.....words have power.  Not just in the realm of communicating ideas (or causing painful misunderstandings) but also for our own psychological health.  It's VERY common from someone to use a given term but to be meaning something different.  Then confusion results as they aren't understood by others or worse, the subconscious picks up on the discrepancy.  That discrepancy is, in my experience, the number one reason why magical, spiritual and even mundane efforts fail.


So what does any of this have to do with Groups, Circles and Covens?  These are the three words I'm looking at today because they are related, having similar meanings and functions and are often treated as interchangeable, even though they really aren't.  And given the recent question about finding covens in one's area, I figured it might be a good idea to clarify the differences and why one might be a better fit over the others.


Groups: Any gathering of people can be described as a group.  This is VERY general term and it covers a lot of ground.  So when in doubt, you can't go wrong with using it.  While they can be a formal nature, something designated as a group is often pretty informal with maybe a few core members, but an otherwise transitory membership.  Usually this is where you will find things like coffee clutches, study groups, nature walks and the like.  A good group will be welcoming and willing to explain themselves to a new face.


Circles: This is a more structured entity then a "Group."  But like a group there is likely a few core members and then a larger, transitory membership.  Unlike the group, a circle usually has a designated goal or reason for getting together.  Examples would be Healing Circles, Women's Full Moon Circles, Men's Mystery Circles and Teaching Circles.  When approaching a Circle the good ones are upfront about their focus and what is expected of those wishing to join.  While many Circles are welcoming, they have a higher standard for membership then a Group, which makes sense.  If a new member joins but they aren't actually interested in/there for the focus of the circle, it can be very disruptive.


Covens: Everyone whats to be in a Coven.  Or so it seems some days.  There is a mystique and taboo about them.  And it seems that people think the only way to find teaching is to join a Coven.  This couldn't be farther from the truth and is an idea that is off putting for many reasons.  So I'm going to try to dispel some of the myths and explain what a Coven WILL do.

     A Coven is basically the next step up from a Circle in terms of focus, organization, membership and expectations.  Unlike Circles and Groups, there is NO transitory membership in a Coven.  All members are expected to be part of the Coven doings (within reason).  A Coven generally has a VERY specific focus; gods, teachings, ethics and so on.  Even in the more eclectic Covens out there, this is true.  It has to be, or the Coven will likely suffer a messy implosion.

     Covens are very intimate things.  No, it's not expected that you'll hook up with the other members (and if someone implies it is, run, don't walk and get the hell out of there).  But it IS like a second family.  Only more-so because these are siblings of the spirit, people that you have chosen to make a part of your life, and who will call you in a panic at 2am because they need help.  These are ALSO the people that you can count on to help you should you be in a situation that calls for the support of others and maybe a few well placed hexes.  So as far as I'm concerned, being in a Coven is a really awesome thing.

      Now, a reality check.  Covens that actually function as explained above are few and far between.  Such Covens don't just magically happen.  It takes a LOT of blood, sweat and tears.  When a new person joins there is an adjustment period as the dynamics of the group shift to accommodate the new personality and added needs/abilities.  And sometimes it doesn't work out.  This is where the idea of A Year And A Day comes into play and it's a very good idea, even if the new dedicant wants to learn everything NOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!!111!11!1!  That time allows everyone to get to know each other BEFORE the commitment that is initiation.  If, in that time, it's decided that it doesn't work (for any reason) then ties can be severed and the dedicate is free to search for another Coven (Circle or Group) that is better suited to their needs.  "Washing out" of the Year and Day is NOT a bad thing, it doesn't mean the person is some kind of failure or that the Coven is a bunch of mean jerks.  It just means that for whatever reason the required level of intimacy and trust wasn't going to happen.  That's it.


One thing I've seen a lot of the last decade is the idea of "can't find a coven?  start your own!"  and I cringe every time.  I'm not saying that people shouldn't start their own!  If someone has the skills, time and inclination then by all means, go for it.  The problem is that a lot of people starting their own Covens have no idea what a Coven really IS.  So what they end up with isn't a Coven but a study group.  Or a social gathering.  Or a working circle.  Or any number of possibilities, none of which are bad or inferior.  They just aren't Covens, so calling them such causes miscommunication at the very least.

       Imagine someone who was part of a solid, well run Coven but had to move away for whatever reason.  That person starts looking around their new town and they hear about a Coven.  They go, expecting it be much like what they knew previously and are very much surprised when....it's a pagan book club.  This can lead to resentment on all parts.  The person looking because they feel it's false advertising and the group because they are happy doing what they are doing.

       So what am I saying?  It's okay to be in a Coven.  Or a Circle.  Or a Group.  It's okay to NOT be in one.  Just that when you're labelling/describing, be honest about what it is.  And what you're looking to get out of it.  (Self) Honestly really is the best policy.