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She Won't Tell

She will ask those to come sit next to her on a handwoven blanket underneath the tree producing a cool breeze with no humidity in the air and skies full of puffy clouds with just a hint of glare from the sun.
To make her guests, old and new and no matter who, feel welcome and at ease with the magic of nature as they listen to the birds chirp and the insects sing songs of fun.
She is the Queen, the Empress of this dimension and wants to rule people's and animals hearts by her compassion, and to make others alive again in themselves to be what they always wanted to be, and she says blessings and wishes as well.
But, when it comes to other's deepest darkest secrets she will take it to the grave because she won't tell.

She has this heart she is willing to give, and all she knows is to listen without speaking first, be their friend, be honest, and always be kind.
Her compassionate nature can make her gullible and naive at times and can make her gushy, airheaded, and played, but she knows she will be rewarded somehow and that tie always shall bind.
She believes in her magic cards, her intuition at times, and sometimes can tell what is going on, or how that friend has been; But, she is only human at times and her health can weaken and dwell.
One thing she always promises and always delivers is she won't tell.

Distage

Dedicated to: My best friend in NYC, Carlos Marin, Jr, or whom I call Pinchy, who helped me come up with the title to this poem, and my niece Ashlyn Heard, who helped me with the ideas for writing it.

Staring at a blank television screen, the woman sees a reflection of herself so sad with glowing eyes dazzling, a series of visions came at her to show what lies inside her heart.
Originally and typically, she sees nothing as her emotions are consumed with blindness to a degree of lost thoughts, broken, shattered promises and loves, feeling like a loser and a failure from the start.
She gazes into the darkness inside the television screen, trying to see herself as a woman with wit, charm, compassion, intelligence, and beauty to impress a special fellow only to find and know her erotic side.
She dreams of a true love, one who fully connects with her soul and all, to come find her, but her feelings she always needs to hide.

Wearing a black veil with lace and silk that hides her face knowing what she has done, and what she can do to create a new image she's happy with to enhance her spark to be liked, loved, admired, accepted, and adored.
She's also a mystery to herself, for she does not even know who the one will save her because she has a strange and complex side to her they may not understand, due from emptiness and the ongoing incomplete pain has been floored.
A picture pops on the screen as her desire comes to her like a movie.
All she ever wanted in her life was scenes of what her life should be and feeling a bit more groovy.

A spotlight is shining down on her as she is seen on the screen glowing in glitter and shines enigmatically reading her thought out verses to an audience with charismatic attention span as her fans throw roses at her for a job well done.
Imaging the appreciation from others, even the close ones, as they applaud her for her accomplishments that were so challenging and fun.
She has a need for friends, old and new, and a lover taken on down the road and success in her life that fits into her envisioned movie she can have in full.
So she can be free with nothing to pull.

Bitter Memories

Bitter memories have opened the doors returning to the land where she came from.
Bitter blessings unrolled the welcome mat as she entered the home she once lived and then some.
The rooms are so cold and empty creating havoc in her as it surrounds the view of the good and bad.
Yet the rooms are so full of visions remininced that her mind wants to go mad.

Missing her friends and loved ones at her new home, but she has to visit the events that occurred here.
The times of her sorrow are coming near.
Reliving a life she would not try to dream of as the times of tears are rolling in.
Where her life first originated in sin.

There were many good times in this land she once lived as the sweet smiles on her face appear.
Holding those times close to her heart that gives her cheer.
Spider webs of her emotions are weaved in knots of perfection.
Some of the thoughts of her past are not for her affection.

Bitter memories have popped in her mind as she waits on the land she once knew.
Bitter kisses on the cheek of her remembering through and through.
Between the good and the bad, her soul begins to weep.
As mostly the bad outweighs the good, her memories to keep.

Nights of Solitude

Suddenly awoken from the nights of solitude that puts her in fear of her safety and being by herself.
Soft words of comfort won't even help her to be soothed for there is noone to help her, not even a magic elf.
Many nights of fear will be on her mind until she finds the o9ne who will defend.
Defend her...from harm that she may depend.

Suddenly nervous from the nights of solitude that puts her in despair of being on her own.
No words of assurance can be given to her or a hug noone can loan.
Many nights of flying solo as she may cry herself to sleep.
Who will be there to hold when when she has to weep?

Suddenly unsure from the nights of solitude that puts her on the defensive sude when a stranger wants to be her friend.
Words spoken of desperation to have one until the end.
Many nights of being single as she can take her pick.
Which there's one she's interested in...in particular... but may turn out to be a prick.

Suddenly so sad from the nights of solitude for she has no one to hold her when in need.
No words of condolences can be given to her, or she may fail instead of succeed.
She feels she is the failure because her solitude nights are going to be the hardest thing she will have to go through.
Who is going to be her friend? Hopefully someone soon.

Blue

Blue from the broken thoughts of loneliness and confusion entering her mind like a yearning of wanting to be free from the chains of a stone around her neck that burdens her with sickness and despair.
Wanting a hand held out to her from a man she desperately wants to save her from her depressed, trapped mind beyond repair.
Surrounded by games of immaturity and child-like behavior that is wearing thin in her mind, body, and soul.
For when the time-bomb of her mentality is ticking, the self-destruction takes it toll.

Blue from always being in the middle of everyone's melodramatic childish events.
Trying to be the friend and the peacemaker so chaos prevents.
Blue for not having the power to stand up and make a friend because of the way she looks.
So she rather stays at home with her nose in the books.

Blue from being alone and don't want to appear clingy and needy for her pride needs to be strong as nails.
Blue from not being able to speak what words she has to say as frustration prevails.
Nowhere to run, nowhere to go, and blue for not having anyone to talk to in her time of need.
Most of the jokers don't want to listen, they just want her seed.

Blue at the world as most drive their luxurious cars and walk the sidewalks taking life for granted.
When noone stops to breathe in the beauty and the Earth's offerings so enchanted.
Blue from the losses as the times of sorrow is here holding our hands and hearts.
Most of all blue for having no love to give as hate starts.

Her Suicide's Experience

Death is coming for her as she takes her final breaths of despair.
An unhappiness and dissatisfaction of her life is taking its toll for she feels not one will care.
As she lays in her pool of blood and water, she's slowly fading away into an eternal dream.
A tunnel of rainbow colors zoom by her for a new life may not be the ideal way of a new self-esteem.

She feels unworthy to those who adore her; she feels like a failure to the man she truly loves and a freak to the inspired man.
Doing the things to be admitted when she can.
No other alternatives to the accepted come to her mind as she heads to her water, steamed bathtub to sit inside nude with her crying eyes.
No other ways to be loved for everything eventually dies.

As her dream of near death rises, an elderly woman she once knew and loved appear to greet her with love as she's surrounded by glowing white and blue auras that shines on her beauty so free.
She touches her face in comfort only to tell her, her life will make her happy.
The elderly woman advised her to go back to her life, for she is loved by so many and is accepted into her circle of friends.
As she woke up in a bed with women in white surrounding her, and her life will soon have no ends.

A person who gets paid to be her friend pays her a visit to get her story.
She told this person how she felt when all she wanted was her glory.
She is sorry for what she did as she will never take another razor to her wrists anymore.
She failed to realize life has so much more.

She needs a change, she needs a whole new name.
To be recognized and admired, especially a need for self fame.
A lesson learned when things get bad.
To never talk to death when she feels sad.

Winter Storms

Winter winds blowing from the north gives her a chill of warmth but utter melancholy for the lady is hibernated inside her shell.
Not looking forward to the lonely days from her being left behind for her heart to swell.
She’s got easy friends or at least that is her mission for she can’t get attached as a lover only to know she thinks she wants someone else who may be around.
Not settling down for nothing to find out that certain someone who may have the same dynamic sparks for her to sound.

Snow and ice coming in to pay a visit on her own wooden front porch in a home in the middle of nowhere.
As she wraps her arms around her and whimpers in agony to this loneliness she can not declare.
Looking for a friend to bring the best out of her, her search behind the screen continues to find.
She can’t come out of her box much because of no money in her pockets and her introverted behavior that can be unkind.

The stems from the trees are falling off due to the weight of the winter mixture causing her to feel worse.
These winter storms in her mind going on the outside will the blood from her heart disperse.
Calling out to a friend who can reach out their hand.
To stop these winter storms all around her, to make them understand.

Beautiful Thunderstorms

Taken by the howling sounds of the wind she walks toward her window with a lighted candle in front of her to look outside and view nature’s madness.
When all the parts of nature becomes scattered from the fierce winds causing such sadness.
Drops of rain start to fall as the clouds begin to turn to a darker shade of gray.
As the Gods make the sounds of their clapping that is heard miles away.

Viewing of the remains being shattered from the ferocious wind that is turning into a funnel.
Panic arises inside her while she is watching outside the dusty, derbies tunnel.
She hurries to move back from the window so she doesn’t become involved.
As the glass from the window busts out, the storm’s intent to be solved.

Something looking so beautiful can not be such a blessing in its own disguise.
It can turn around and cause damage to what you own as sacred and can make a soul feel unwise.
Never judge a picture by its looks or it will make a person see.
To take one look and pass judgment on what’s meant to be.

Being beautiful as a person is just one thing.
Being beautiful outside the person is simply nothing.
Beauty can fade and cause damage like this storm on sight.
Before feeling in awe watch for the signs that may bite.

A Severed Soul

A severed soul is eaten by the hungry demons of her own black world only to find out if anyone cares.
Feeling like an idiot that’s fallen down the stairs.
A soul is upset by the cards she was dealt in life always knowing there’s so much better out there.
Too shy to come out of her box to begin where.

Lonely is her soul as the knife is pushed inside her broken heart knowing she’d be the only one to suffer.
The suspense of phone calls by interesting men get tougher.
Single again to find the perfect mate.
Frustrated she can’t find anyone to date.

As happiness goes to the one who made these ceasing plans.
While nothing goes to her but empty garbage cans.
She was desperately seeking to find a way out of this broken relationship, but can not bare.
The rewards coming to him while punishment for her is in the air.

Desperately trying to cope with this newly, changed life.
A mixture of feelings of frustration and loneliness cause her strife.
Being impatient for her chance to come on her lap.
At least she has her mind and the thinking cap.

Ravaged beasts are in play as the severed soul tries to fight the negative feelings always felt.
Choking her to the point of unconsciousness by an imaginary belt.
Taking down shots of the hard alcohol to try to kill the pain.
Even when she awakes the next day, the loneliness will remain.

Trying to hard to be admired, but she feels like she fails.
Emptiness and a desire to be loved still persists.
When she makes a call she gets nothing on the other side of the line.
Having to pretend this severed soul is fine.

Mourner's Alternative

An ending is near as a transitional phase closes its doors welcoming another opportunity for something even more interesting and free.
The knight rides through the town in honor of the passing of a funeral of the past for it’s about to be buried for eternity.
A priest is about welcoming the sorrowed for a change is not easy to endure.
A passing of something once known to the mourner is hard to let go, for a change is unsure.

Something is holding this particular mourner back from the change that is about to event.
Not accepting a change for what it is because the time together was well spent.
Problems will arise for the mourner if the female doesn’t release the powers granted for this change to be.
The stars pointing out opportunities that will be missed if the change is not accepted immensely.

Needing advice, the mourner asks someone of higher knowledge, power, and wisdom for this change is about to take place.
The All advises the mourner for assurance and peace as you can see from a mysterious place.
Equilibrium will be granted if work is done for the change of life that is about to set.
Thinking The All for the words of wisdom the mourner won’t forget.

Part of the alternative is to make a choice between lovers that will suit her best.
Following the instincts, the mourner will finally put something so used to, to rest.
Fruits of passion and fire with the affairs of the heart.
Two people of interest as the male comes from the sign of fire, and the woman sweet as a fruit.
The temptation from the past, unhappy life is about to take root.

Change is required for this alternative for it will give the mourner her strength.
To tame the fiery lion who adores her the mourner at any great length.
The mourner has this quality of love and nurture that someone needs.
To make this change easier, a heart bleeds.
Initiation To A New Life

Her world is upside down for the keys to her future is uncertain for she doesn’t have a plan or a single thought to a place she can call home.
She doesn’t feel she belongs anywhere, as her thoughts and frame of mind is eccentric to many with no money to find a place to roam.
Devastation is in the air for her starving soul wants to be nourished with stimulation of good times and a redemption of her youth.
Salvation needs enhanced as she is saddened with unsolved mysteries of her truth.

The requirements are there if she can raise her imaginary, magic wand to call the spirits in her mind to make all things happen to her advantage.
Her symbol is from Mother Earth if she can organize her perceptions of her inner magic to manage.
This is her reality, she creates with a simple, will powered, motivated thought out touch.
With all the beauty in this world has to offer, he rewards can be so much.

When the moon is full, her time of rebirth will be a call of action as she indicates herself to the Goddess while she has her familiars helping her with her call.
A path is open, always…to the devotion of The All.
The scorpion can sting like this analogy to keep guard of her actions pulsating through her veins for it can sting.
Moon droppings of glitter surrounds her to everything.

Fate can be a wonderful thing as the odds are for her to pursue her dreams to make her more enigmatic and her personality flow.
Spinning the wheel of fortune to win a prize to see how far she will go.
Taking a gamble for unacceptance for her devotion to the occult and the mystic life, that people will fight against their beliefs with their narrow closed intellect.
A risk she’s almost willing to take as it draws her in to the home of the unknown as the Queen elect.

She doesn’t need permission from authority like a little child asking parents for a friend to come and play or wanting something she may enjoy.
Not one soul can unaffirm, for this is her life to live as not one person can employ.
A delay for her quest will not occur for too long she will soon be in control.
No longer the sorrows for she will have the power in her soul.

The Dark World

The dark world is putting her down to let this woman live through the guilt, torment, and sadness of the years of ongoing, traumatizing events.
Her crying is beyond controllable like a busted water pipe under a kitchen sink that only happiness prevents.
Never going to feel well, she thinks to herself, like the ghost of her past keeps haunting her and the emotional madness from popping pills.
Paleness from being ill in her mind feeling so mentally caged as bars have been put up on window sills.

Dampening spirits of loved ones and friends like bad news being delivered in a telegram on a bad, rainy day.
Tired of living her life she wants to do away.
Wondering the streets of darkness as the pavement is wet and slippery as her head bows down in shame.
All alone now feeling she’s to blame.

Sleepless nights arrived for ongoing months paying visits uninvitingly without even knocking on the door.
Saddened by the loss of her salvation, wondering if there is more?
Cold from the air she can hardly breathe deep inside choking from the air of smoke coming out her breath.
Only opportunity or alternative she feels is death.

Will the sun ever shine down again on her long, pale face with her eyes red from the ongoing tears?
Will the blue skies with puffy clouds she hasn’t seen in years.
Feeling different as night and day.
Waiting to speak the words she wants to say.

A dog barking at the trees is how she wants to feel, as a dog is happy, careless, and free.
A deeper need for spiritual, emotional, and physical intimacy.
At an old, run down coffee shop she sits crying.
All she can think about at this point is dying.

The dark world she’s residing in entraps her to where she can’t escape for they have her bonded in chains.
The thoughts of a heartbroken bitterness remains.
Looking for a kindred soul to save her from this misery.
With a loss of a special one, her true one’s mystery.
A Chance

A chance for the lonely lady to have the world on the tips of her warn, calloused fingers.
Working hard to get what she wants but a stalemate lingers.
Holding on to something like a prized heirloom that she doesn’t want to let go.
For a reward will come to her someday, she awaits for the one to glow.

Ignorance to something so very new as an adventure is about ready to start.
She can go either direction, as long as she follows her heart.
A guardian intimate stands beside her to be her guide.
To finally let go all the old things inside.

Feeling in competition to be the woman at heart and soul to achieve a man’s victory and affection.
Not getting anywhere so far because of this perfection.
She keeps on the flight until it is time to cease.
To be the woman of his mind and feelings release.

Being patient to wait while she needs to gain balance.
To get her mind together and gather her talents.
As she floats in the air in her mind to imagine this affair to want to happen so great.
To gain answers to these thoughts not wanting to hesitate.

She awaits for a soul who may be way beyond.
She may have to make an approach to the one she’s fond.
All she can do is work hard to gain insight.
To the unknown world in her mind to take flight.

Fairness is required when it comes to her patience which can be short.
A balance needs to be in order in her mind’s vast airport.
A verdict will be reached, the great big decision.
Of what is to come next? Is it him or a mission?

The Pride Killer

As this woman attained her peak as a young woman entering the world with weakness as youthful as a child.
She courted a man almost twice her senior that drove her wild.
When they first convened, she was a careless, free-spirited teenager working under his sphere.
Automatic attraction occurred having fantasies of being his mistress remained here.

As she became of legal age, they came across each other to make up for lost years they had missed.
When they first saw each other again, automatically they kissed.
Together they shared so many things as if they were a single person starting at the mirror.
Off to a good start, so far nothing inferior.

A problem he had since the years of their absence went by was a secret women in his life knew.
His nasty vocabulary toward women made them feel blue.
A man who was really a slave to the drink, chaos, and utter inhumanity to feel so high, mighty, and empowered.
As the drink diminished his soul even more, his bitter, biting language toward the women in his life had made their souls devoured.

As this woman was with him, at first it was a dream, a figment of imagination of him potentially being her soul mate.
Suddenly, he turns into this venomous snake and began to hate.
As his inferiority and inner demons began to take over his life as the drink became his crutch.
He took all of this woman’s weaknesses throwing them directly at her face or when for no reason his fists would clutch.

An innocent, young woman never heard of such words of inhumane thoughts he spoke so bitter like the taste of cocaine.
She felt so powerless feeling less than human her mentality grew more insane.
Nor did he care how his words of harsh truths only known to her would be thrown on her face.
She left to return back over and over again from all over the place.

Full of hatred for killing her pride, she became like a bored human losing fun when they were together.
His abusive words were the way that he world became to sever.
Buttons were pushed towards violence for it was his specialty and power with pain.
Finally, she sacrificed him behind to choose to live and receive her pride again.

Depression Unhinged

Following a path so cold and alone like a black cloak covering the body to keep the individual warm and snuggly.
Encounters of lost time and false hopes and hidden truths come to rise above can be so ugly.
Irrepressible emotions of melancholy play at the rationality of the forlorn and sorrowful twinges amplified to its heights.
Missing the riddle of hope like a nervous student failing an exam studied so hard for that lost its sights.

Anguished and disappointing events occur at more counts by the fingers that so many indulge suffering to make better.
Enclosed by the layers of the troubled like an old, itchy sweater.
A donation of misplaced thoughts is given to the smart one as a gift for it is something of great, sentimental value to cherish.
The grief deep inside is so extreme as the mentality begins to parish.

Shameful of love, peace, and happiness for the world doesn’t give a regard to the ones who reach out for assistance.
Lengthy times of waiting in such a long distance.
A catastrophe is about to begin like a festivity of the scorned dance and drink mead so merry.
The only way for instant healing, besides popping pills, is to hire a fairy.

Whaling in non stop tears within, a hurting beyond imagination like a movie that constantly depicts drama never ceasing.
Someone of a friend to call out is a stranger who is so easing.
Never seen or heard such depression as all hope is lost and ignored like a unattractive dame looking for companionship with no luck.
A constant headache from stressful tensions as the happiness suctions a neck to draw out the blood who begins to suck.

Confusion and deceitful ideas to unexplained why the ongoing questions are left unanswered like a clumsy dancer.
The sadness eating away like the illness of cancer.
Holding a body to hug itself for it feels so alone.
Even when others offer compassion, that stranger who’s called out turns to stone.
Pleasurable Tortures

Blackened ideas enter the mind of the ignored and deserted like the thoughts of death and blood stained wounds of the arm that was sliced.
Tonguing the snake God for there’s no love for the pitiful seeking attention from the dark side suddenly enticed.
A kiss of sorrow is an enjoyment of an affair of an imaginary emotion being placed in the mind to make it look so cool and pretty.
Getting off on the blissful misery in order to receive pity.

Reddened perceptions of blood leaking from the self-inflicted wound used by a silver dagger.
Bellowing orgasms of self-torture as their world starts to stagger.
Missing pieces to the brain’s jigsaw puzzle for doing such a deed for enjoyment and pleasure.
Thinking the world well pity the attention seeking treasure.

Self sacrifices is the key for the torturing demons inside just waiting for souls to be taken for enjoyment of infliction cutting of the arms of the sick.
Not knowing what they are doing, or is it just a trick?
Playing with fire for their evil is enjoyable like an overweight population tasting their favorite candy.
Temptation to the sinister minds are always so dandy.

A game to the test to see what is true.
A change is required to start over new.
When a hand is reached for a soul who wants to stop is not taken.
Only pity is felt because the soul is forsaken.
Planet Peace

Appalled by the world for losing its love to the beauty of the nature that environs this Earth, so blind to the magnificent that surrounds the good.
Shame on the world for turning their noses up at self-expression and different views that could.
Ripped apart by society, put down by the wealthier they feel in their wretched, wasteful, worthless minds.
Feeling they should be like the normal human race with no other kinds.

What the population sees is the image of how the world should be, like they’re superior for thinking they do good when they once have sinned.
Blabbing their mouths that sputter out words of insults and their lesser tongues lash out thinking they have it pinned.
Outraged by the remarks the mortal bodies make that can make nature feel so low and small under a microscopic tool.
Believing who these beings are thinking they can perform water ballet so gracefully like a swan in a pool.

Angry at this planet for these bodies take for granted destroying homes of the spirit and setting emotions of those not apparently superior on fire.
Wanting to laugh at those prejudiced faces of the so called golden children society, the so called liar.
Forgiven can be an offering if the change can take form like brand new rose bushes being planted taking time to grow.
If the rose bushes don’t fill out its shining beauty, to them will bestow.

Saddened at this life when all the horror and sorrow going on because of the refusal of alteration to become open, pure, peaceful, and serene.
Saddened by this life with all the anger and hate and the turning away of the love one another scene.
Each one of the species who can walk and speak need to come together as one with approval because that’s how it should be.
Again someday a view of nature will look more glorious when air is inhaled with bliss and peace again reigns definitely.